Dog Park Incident

Yesterday I took the dogs to the dog park. I went around 10:00 am and it was already way too hot. We did our complete tour of the five acres. Then we joined all the other dogs and owners under the big trees. I sat on a picnic table away from everyone else. Zeus and Shelley tend not to play well with others so I watch them like hawks. A boy of about twelve years sat down beside me. He reminded me of Pugsley from the Addams Family. He was at the park with his Mom and their dog. Obviously he was comfortable talking with adults. First he said he was home schooled. I guess to explain why he wasn't at school. Or maybe I look like a truancy officer. He told me all kinds of stories about his animals and other animals. Two stories stuck with me. The first was releasing his old bunny from its cage. He said the bunny wouldn't leave the yard and took two weeks to die. But his new puppy loved to cuddle with it in the yard. The reason he had the puppy was the rabbit had to die first. I didn't say, "But isn't the bunny in the yard with the puppy?" Next he regaled me with a tale of his next door neighbor's dog. The dog was in an electric fence and was mean. The boy wanted to prove the dog was nice. He walked into the yard. The dog ate a hole in his leg. I asked, " What happened to the dog?" Mainly because the boy was walking on two legs and in a dog park. He replied, "The owner's wife punched him in the face. She hates the dog." Then the boy proceeded to tell me that his dog of two years is only his even though his parents and brother say it belongs to the family. "I named him. I picked him out. And we got him the day after my birthday." Now he looks me in the eye while patting the pocket of his gym shorts. " I carry protection at all times. I need it day and night." By then I was so hot that sweat dripped down my back and into my underwear. I was too dehydrated to do much. I looked down at his pocket. There was a small bulge over it. I gulped. "What are you carrying?" hoping it wasn't a gun and I wasn't threatening him. "A small knife." "Have you ever used it?" "No, not yet." His Mom wandered over and he stood to leave. The boy went and sat by a lady with a pit bull. Good choice I thought. The mom picked up the conversation. Eventually she got into that her family had appropriate names for their dog but the youngest son insisted on John. ( I am using a fake name to protect the dog.) I smiled and said " Time for me to go home." Zeus had taken his dip in the pool and was rolling in all the smelly dirt he could find. And I felt like I had been rolled in some smelly dirt too. I just couldn't wash it off.

Bloodsuckers

I get so tired seeing doctors. Part of seeing doctors is having blood drawn. This morning is a blood draw day and a seeing a doctor day. The blood draw is always a crap shoot depending on who draws the blood and what shape my veins are in. Bloodsuckers are important when you need them which brings me around to Anthony Weiner. I believe good ole Anthony is no longer an important bloodsucker. Lets see. He denies. He lies. He recants. He apologizes. He swears there was not any physical contact with the women in cyberspace. But what is with sending pictures of his package? First he was in his tidy whities or maybe tidy boxers. Now a photo has surfaced of the total bare package. Is it humongous or something? Why else would he be so fixated on photographing it and sending the picture into cyberspace? I am here to tell you that the story regarding men's shoe size and their penis size is a myth. Too many years of nursing laid that baby to rest. But maybe there is a correlation between the nose size and penis size. I never checked that out. Now with my diseases and no nursing I can't do a survey. But forget the package size issue. Here is my take on the whole "Weiner" escapade. The man's last name is Weiner and he obviously loves his weiner. Bill Clinton officiated at his wedding. I learned that tidbit on "Chelsa Lately", my favorite late night show. And last but not least his wife is BFF big time with Hillary Clinton. She travels the world with her. When you have the Clintons as role models for your marriage this is what you get. So I say, "Step down Anthony Weiner and send me a picture of your weiner. I just want to get an idea of the size of it."

Gothic Southern Mayhem and Murder

One of my favorite parts of going to Myrtle Beach is reading The Sun News. Maybe because of the heat and humidity but people do some strange things to themselves and each other. I hit the jackpot with this story. Be on the lookout for a Lifetime Movie, bestseller or even a box office smash. All the elements are there for success. This titillating story happened in Cottageville, S.C. Cottageville is located 35 miles northwest of Charleston, S.C. The population is approximately 676 with 97% Caucasian.I say approximately because of the 676, one is dead and one might get lynched. The two main characters are former Mayor Bert Reeves and officer Randy Price. Bert Reeves died of a gunshot wound to the chest the afternoon of May 16 on Nut Hatch Lane. When Police Chief Craddock arrived at the scene he found Reeves dead. Price was nearby covered in cuts and bruises. Nut Hatch Lane is a dirt road near town hall and no one knows why the two men were there. Let me give the background on the two men. Bert Reeves was the former mayor of Cottageville. I don't know how long he served as mayor or how successful he was. In 2006 while mayor he was cited for speeding twice. One of the citation clocked him at 103 mph in a 55 mph zone. He refused to resign from office. Besides the driving citations he flipped his truck in July of 2006 and received a brain injury. Although he assumed his mayoral duties after treatment he just wasn't the same according to many people. The current mayor of Cottageville is Bert Reeves's aunt. Mayor/Aunt Margaret Steen found a machete in her front yard just hours after her nephew's death. Her property is next door to her nephew's business. Although the police came with a SLED agent , no report was filed. Officer Randy Price remains on paid administrative leave since shooting Bert Reeves. He started as an officer in May 2008. I guess there weren't any other applicants since his work history showed eight jobs in eleven years. The work history included multiple firings, misconduct and brutality claims. Once in Cottageville he pissed off the municipal officials by arresting their friends, relatives, and neighbors. He did pile up lots of drug arrests. Now remember the population stated above. He must have had most of the town in jail at one time or another. SLED officials are investigating the case. The mayor and all concerned are not allowed to talk about the "events'. I confess I did google today to get more info on the case. Monday the town council met. Residents want Officer Price terminated. From his job not killed although one resident said, "Let's don't lynch the man." I don't know if that is a viable option for the residents or not. The Mayor still is unable to comment because of the ongoing investigation by SLED. What did I tell you ? Southern Gothic all the way!

Johnny, How Could You?

John Edwards is still being investigated regarding how campaign funds were used during his presidential run. Federal prosecutors and his lawyers are battling it out over how campaign finance law deals with gifts and third party payments. John's gifts were about two supporters with more money than sense. These supporters provided more than a million dollars to pay to keep Rielle Hunter's mouth shut. I guess whenever "Johnny" pissed off Rielle she would threaten to go to the press. Evidently lots of money was required to keep her quiet during the campaign. But what has got me to pondering about is Bunny Mellon. Bunny is 100 years old. She was a friend of Jacqueline Kennedy. It seems Bunny became a money source after being upset about press coverage of John's $400.00 haircuts. She "volunteered" to pay whatever expenses John had that were not covered by the campaign.Evidently that included a valet. I am sorry but what does a man born to factory workers in Robbins need with a valet? Surely he dressed himself sometime in his life. Bunny is believed to have "voluntarily donated" $700,000 to John. When did she know that she was financing a mistress and fake baby daddy? Bunny and her family have been to the Raleigh courthouse. John and she had lunch last week. I guess that means she and John are still BFF. But,hello, the woman is 100 and $700,000 is lots of money. Especially to use to keep an affair secret from a wife with cancer. Does Bunny think he is John Kennedy because of his boyish good looks? At 100 her eyesight can't be great and who knows about her mental acuity. Maybe she thinks he is John Kennedy! But I keep going back to the $700,000. That is lots of money for anybody. John's campaign was about being the poor people's president. So why didn't that $700,000 go to giving haircuts to homeless people, foster children, or just about anybody but John. But guess what, has anybody heard a peep out of Rielle since her magazine spread? Nope! I guess Johnny is digging in his own pocket to keep her quiet now. Bless his little heart!

Dead Jellyfish

I just returned from a wonderful beach week in Murrell's Inlet/Garden City Beach S.C. The weather was warmer than usual for May which I loved. But that might be the reason for all the dead cannonball jellyfish on the beach. I never saw the ocean until I was 16 but lived in Charleston, S.C. for two years in my 20s. One of the first things I was told and learned - do not touch the dead jellyfish! Go around them , look at them but don't touch them ! One summer in Charleston I got a jellyfish bite in the ocean. After that I was just not interested in jellyfish. I told my husband and my children with all of our beach trips do not touch the dead jellyfish. Now you ask why I am rambling on about dead jellyfish? Because of an incidence one morning during my beach week. My friend, her 3 year old granddaughter and I were on the beach. We walked over to a large family group. The men and boys were building a huge sandcastle with big shovels. We introduced ourselves and let my friend's granddaughter marvel at the big hole they were making. One of the men explained he was from Boston with his family. His wife's family was from Pennsylvania. Everyone had driven down to enjoy a week at the beach. My friend and I shared our knowledge of good local seafood and restaurants. As we were talking his sister-in-law and her daughter walked up to us. The daughter looked to be about 10. Both of them held a dead cannonball jellyfish in their hands. My friend and I looked at the dead jellyfish and then at each other in disbelief. Two people were standing beside us with dead jellyfish! And one was a child! I swallowed and then opened my big mouth. In my sweetest southern accent I said very politely, " Jellyfish can sting you even after they are dead." What I really wanted to say was " WTF! Are you insane? I have never ever seen anyone in my entire beach experience carry around a dead jellyfish! And your daughter is carrying one too?! WTF!!!!!" The woman gave my friend and I a big glare and barked out " That is why we are holding them this way!" Okay! I guess I missed the class on how to hold a dead jellyfish. My class was always never to hold a dead jellyfish! So now I am home reading the Charlotte Observer. What do I see but an article on dead jellyfish and that they may be taking over the world's oceans. The article further states jellyfish are edible, a traditional Asian dish. Two Lowcountry teens who were lost at sea for a week survived partly by eating jellyfish. So now I feel really bad. Maybe the lady was planning to eat them for supper. But I would have still felt better if she had scooped them up with a bucket!