Popular Girl Retreat

I won't be posting over the weekend. I will be at the Popular Girl's Retreat in Pisgah Forest, N. C. Pisgah Forest is between Brevard and Asheville, a beautiful place. One of the Popular Girls is lucky enough to live there and open up her home for the retreats." What is a Popular Girl Retreat?", you ask. First it is a gathering of Popular Girls. I started the retreats and hand picked each Popular Girl.The qualifications for a Popular Girl is to only talk to other Popular Girls, make sure all the nonpopular girls feel bad that they are not a Popular Girl, and to put out. All the girls I chose are married except for two. I assume the married ones are putting out . I have not recieved any complaints from their husbands. The other two have to be putting out or they can't remain a Popular Girl. I see my body every day in the mirror after my shower. I have to stay married. Without a husband I would have to pay to put out. And I must always remain a Popular Girl. At the retreats things are kept simple. After all we have all reached the highest point in life - we are popular. Therefore makeup is optional. Staying in your PJ's all day is cool. Showers and tooth brushing are mandatory as is wine drinking. Cooking is frowned upon. Takeout or delivery is cheered. Talking about all the unpopular girls is a must. Talking about a Popular Girl isn't okay unless she has been really, really mean. Lots and lots of laughter is essential.The sole reason for the retreat is knitting, playing in polymer clay, dying yarn, spinning yarn, needle felting, wet felting, beading or any thing else we can think of. Sometimes we leave the house for important things like a fiber festival, a yarn shop, a bead shop, or a quilt store. We do shop for important things like wine and chocolate. We ogle young men walking by. But we never approach or put out unless they own a farm with llamas, sheep, cashmere goats, or angora rabbits. We also approach or put out if they own a yarn store, quilt shop, bead shop, chocolate factory, or winery. We have higher standards than your average Popular Girl. Unfortunately some of my hand picked Popular Girls have never made a retreat. They have used flimsy excuses like childbirth, funerals, moving, and dance recitals. They are at present Sub Popular Girls. I haven't decided how long they will remain at that level before I demote them to Dangerously Close To Never Being A Popular Girl. Talk to you Monday.