A Great Day

To keep my spirits up I try to think of things that make a great day. The first thing to come to mind is the third day wearing my blue jeans. That first day is the killer sucking everything in just to get your pants zipped. Day two is better with more breathing room. Day three is the great day! You feel young, thin , and happy. You get a quarter pounder with cheese at the drive through. You drip grease all over the jeans. You wash them and wait for day three to arrive. Because that is always a great day!

Shame on them

If you read the newspapers or watch the news you know people are still unemployed with no health insurance.Those that still have jobs are working harder for less money to compensate for the people let go. Companies have cut people's pay instead of increasing it. Recent college graduates are working at any job they can get including fast food restaurants. We have two sons in college with the husband's job struggling with the economy and myself too sick to work. So imagine my emotions when I read the front page today. The executive pay of the Bank of America is listed in an article. Tom Montag, president of global banking and markets made $29.9 million in 2009. This is after the bailout and oh yeah he was with Merrill Lynch. Greg Curl, former risk officer, made $9.9 million. Brian Moynihan ,former head of consumer banking, now chief executive, made $6 million. Joe Price, former chief financial officer, now head of consumer banking, made $ 6 million. Remember taxpayer money that our great-great-great-great grandchildren will still be paying off bailed that bank out. I hope Andrew Cuomo keeps digging so these idiots are held to standards the rest of us follow. How about all that money going to pay off the bailout? I know that will be a sacrifice for these men. They may have to have a staycation, forget the new wing on the house, send the children to a neighborhood school, buy their clothes off the rack, eat at home and the wife may have to get a job, clean the house and cook the meals. You know all the stuff the rest of us do every day.

Lemons

Yesterday I had to have a post mammogram. That is what I am calling it. You know where you already had the mammogram and they call back to say "You need a more in depth test but hey don't worry". So any way I am sitting in the little room in that paper blue shirt waiting for my post mammogram results. The television is on HLN or some stuff that I have no interest in. You would think they would do Lifetime Network Movies or something. On second thought I guess not. The movie would be right at the good part and women wouldn't leave. I start digging through the magazines to find something to read. I can't just sit still. I didn't bring my knitting. Shame on me. All the magazines are about losing 20 pounds in 30 days, re-doing your home at a garage sale , and going green. I picked up the newest Family Circle. After flipping some pages and skimming some articles I found a tidbit of info worth keeping. Use a lemon on your armpits if you run out of deodorant. The article didn't specify it being sliced or cut but I assume you would. Now I have pondered over that for quite awhile and see that as a great tip. You are at a crowded , overheated bar or restaurant. You are sweating to death. You worry that you are reeking of b.o. Order a drink with a lemon slice. When it arrives swipe that lemon slice under your armpit and your worries are over. I would probably ask for two lemons though. One for your armpits and one for your drink. I know this tip won't make you lose 20 pounds, or re-do your house but I definitely think using lemon for your deodorant is going green.

Naps

I finally found some good news in my diseases. Fatigue is a big symptom in all of them. I get tired of saying I am tired because I am tired all the time. Naps are one of my biggest activities. Wake up in the morning, take out and feed the dogs, eat breakfast, and take a nap. Wake up from the nap, take out and feed the dogs, eat lunch, and take a nap. Wake up from the nap, take out the dogs, and go to bed. If naps were an Olympian sport, I would be drowning in gold medals. Last night on the news what do I hear but a recent study says afternoon naps make you smarter. Well as you can see with my schedule I am a genius!!!!!!!!! You gotta love recent studies and their findings.

The Walk

The husband and I took all three dogs for a walk yesterday. The day was beautiful with a high of 65. Our walk started at 6:30 pm. I took Chip and Shelley. The husband took Zeus or the Z man as the husband calls him. Zeus broke his Halti collar the night before. With just his slip collar he was rearing to go. We got to the cul de sac and all three dogs had the mandatory poop. We picked all these up and proceeded on the walk. A neighbor walking his dog went by on the street below. Zeus twisted his neck right and left. Bingo he was out of his collar and running down the street after the dog and neighbor. The husband stood there with a collar, a leash, and a bag of poop. He turned around and walked back to the house. I took the two dogs still in their collars and leashes in search of Houdini/Zeus. We found Zeus running around having the time of his life. Chip and Shelley enviously watched him pee on every bush/tree he could find. Zeus followed us back to the house but at his pace. Meaning no where near us even as I called his name. The husband pulled up in the van. Zeus was checking out a neighbor's garage. The husband called his name while opening the van's side door. Zeus hopped in the van. The husband rode him around a few streets so Zeus would always get in the van. I walked Chip and Shelley home. I knew they were thinking that Zeus ran off and got a van ride. But they don't remember all the times they ran out of the electric fence and barked for us to pick them up in the van. They didn't mind the shock coming out. Just didn't want a shock going back in. That was the gist of the husband and wife dog walk. Stay tuned for the highlights of next weeks walk.

Roommates

Thinking Tiger Woods, Mark Sanford, John Edwards, and the guy from ESPN could all room together. Think of all the parties they could have! And just imagine the guest list?

Engagement

I just read that Nicole Richie and Joel Madden are engaged. Now this doesn't affect my life one bit. It is not like I have to buy a gift or lose weight before the wedding. My reaction to this announcement is "Why?". They have two children. How long have they lived together? Just get married. If you don't know by now if you are compatible then you should not have had a second child. I think engagements are for people who have no children together. Maybe I need to consult an etiquette book. Now that I have read this I know I won't be invited to the wedding.

The Swimsuit Issue

I am revealing a dirty little secret. I have been looking at the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue for at least 30 years. That is how long I have known my husband. He has always had a subscription to the magazine no matter what our financial situation. So in the early years I dug right in looking for bathing suits that might flatter my flat chested skinny frame. Remember this was before internet shopping so you only had the brand name of the suit to go by. We did have mail order catalogs but not for bathing suits worn in the swimsuit issue. Of course I never found or bought a swimsuit worn by the models. But I had lots of fun thinking I would look just like those girls if I wore one of those suits. I returned from NYC Sunday and headed for the bathroom to retrieve the magazine. (All of our magazines are stored in a basket in the bathroom. We aspire to a higher standard of living than the average family.) I thumbed through not even considering a suit that would compliment my body. None of the models were wearing a full length, heavy duty spandex wet suit.That is my style now. I have too much hanging over or dotted like swiss cheese. Besides the girl on the cover went to high school with a friend of the son at Georgia Tech. You know what that means? I could have birthed that child.

Where Are All The Young People ?

I flew to NYC with US Air and back to Charlotte this week. I won't go into details of my experience getting to NYC. Coming back went much better. My one observation of the entire flight experience is why are all the stewards and stewardess so old? Are there no young people being hired? All the people I saw were at least my age or older. Most of the women had the middle age spread and baggy eyes. Hardly any one looked happy. Maybe the NYC flight is a golden ring that only years of service entitles you to that flight. But when you are tired looking at yourself just makes you more tired.

Use Care With Your Votes

I know now why Mark Sanford is still in office. The Lt. Gov. Andre Bauer would be governor. I had heard rumors he was unfit but he did get elected Lt. Gov. right? Well now Andre is running for governor of South Carolina. This is from his speech regarding public assistance. "My grandmother was not a highly educated woman, but she told me as a small child to quit feeding stray animals. You know why? Because they breed. You're facilitating the problem if you give an animal or a person ample food supply. They will reproduce, especially ones that don't think too much further than that. And so what you've got to do is you've got to curtail that type of behavior. They don't know any better." I do believe that man has never know anything but an ample food supply. And surely he loves to practice breeding.I guess he considers these practices only for certain people. When and how will he determine which people don't deserve an ample food supply or the act of breeding? Unfortunately I did read a letter to the editor at The Charlotte Observer that agreed wholeheartedly with this statement. Ironically I am reading The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich and Hilter had the same philosophy. I know lots of South Carolinian's are die hard Republicans but sometimes you have to choose between the lesser of the two evils. I don't even know who Andre is running against but you can bet your pants that person would have my vote.

A Fairy Tale

Once upon a time there was The Evil One. She was so evil that it marred her physical appearance and her soul. Her face was distorted with ugliness and ugliness lived in her body. Her only recourse was to entice males with her sexual prowess. After many males and years she captured a submissive gullible mate. The marriage was swift mainly because of the baby in The Evil One's belly. She knew no way to converse with her mate's younger female family members. She ignored them and only spoke to them when her mate and other males were present. When children were born she ignored them as well unless the mate was present. The years progressed. The inner ugliness seeped into her face more and more. The bleached hair grew brittle and thin. The scalp shined through. The face was distorted with so much ugliness that The Evil One looked like an old Mick Jagger with a little Keith Richards thrown in. By now she was nearing sixty years of evil and ugliness. The sexual prowess was ineffectual to men other than her passive mate. She ignored all her mate's family. The ugliness seepage accelerated until one day she was just a big pile of ugly blob. No one mourned except maybe the mate.

The End

Too Busy

I apologize for not keeping more up to date on my blog. I realize there are those of you who are unable to complete your day without reading my great pearls of wisdom. Lately I have been busy getting diagnosed with a new disease - Sjogren's Syndrome. The disease is an autoimmune disease that attack various organs, most notably the glands that produce tears and saliva. I didn't have a disease that began with a "s" so my alphabetical order keeps getting larger. What has devastated me more than that is poor John Edwards. I am so worried about him. Where did he go once Elizabeth threw him out? He could be in Charlotte living with the baby momma. I know he is in knots over the sex tape being released. If it is released I will just watch it to see if his hair moves during sex. I hope he has enough money after his divorce and keeping up the baby momma for his 100.00 haircuts and his hair products. You know when you pay 100.00 for a hair cut you don't wash it in Suave. Jenny Sanford's book is coming out. That hasn't made me lose any sleep like I have for poor old John. Does she think she is writing something new? All women suffer greatly when their husband has an affair. But we have to realize that most don't have an idiot for a husband like Mark Sanford. Thank God she had the money.