Friday

Today is Friday. I think most of you know that. My biggest plans for the day is going to the dog park. The dog park is the best way for three dogs to have B.M.s at the same time. Kinda of like going to the super Wal-Mart and getting all your shopping done at once. The husband is working in his cave/ home office today. That eliminates having any men friends over. Not that there are any to come but I am just throwing that out there. I did gain weight over the beach trip so I am only wearing my stretchy clothes. I think it is all fluid because of the heat and not all the food and wine I consumed. I might do laundry today but probably not, even though I can only wear my stretchy clothes. Depending on what type of husband emerges from the cave determines what I will do tonight. Tomorrow I work at the yarn shop. And tomorrow is Saturday.

Where Did She Go

Forget ever being a blogger of note or even a blogger. I am dragging my ass lately on this blog. I can blame it on nothing more exciting than Al and Tipper Gore breaking up. They prove money doesn't buy happiness. I don't want to discuss the oil spill. That is like an alcoholic family member - don't talk about it and it doesn't exist. Besides everyday I crank my car and use the oil spewing who knows where. I could blame all my diseases but that is so last year. How about plain ole laziness? That is as good as excuse as any. I did spend a week at the beach without a computer. Which reminds me. I read an article in the Myrtle Beach paper about this recurrent domestic call. Seems a wife kept throwing the phone in the toilet. Mainly because women kept calling her husband. The husband reassured the police he was moving out so there would be no further problems. There were hints the wife might not be right. Obviously the husband is a few short. Don't give your home phone number to your girlfriends. you ijidit! So I promise to blog everyday even if I say the same thing every day. You know like Sarah Palin's speeches. Same speech no matter where she is. Roger and out!

How to Diaper a Dog

Diapering a dog is not as easy as it sounds. First at the pet store you have to figure out what size by weight. Second you have to decide do you want totally disposable ones or a washable panty in denim with disposable liners. Third you have to get over the fact that the disposable ones cost $20.00 for 12 and that the denim panty is $30.00. The fun begins when you put on the disposable diaper on the actual dog. Chip has a long furry tail like a plume rising above his back. Handsome for him, a bitch to get through the tail hole in a dog diaper. He does stand still while I tug and pull the diaper over his tail. Now I have to tape the two ends over his bony hips. The first attempt goes well but leaves his peepee out. Since that is the root of the problem a re-taping is required. The peepee is covered and he can walk. When it is time to take him outside I remove his diaper and it is dry. So is his bed where he slept. I put it back on after our trip outside. This time he and I both are pros. He sleeps until time for me to go to bed. I wake him up and he slowly staggers up leaving a trail of urine behind him. The diaper has shifted and the peepee is out!. I remove the diaper and take him outside. We come back in and I put on a clean diaper. ( We have already lost over a dollar on the first diaper. ) Upstairs we go to hopefully have a dry and peaceful night. This morning Chip wakes me up barking to eat and diaper less. His diaper is lying on the floor still intact. How he got out I don't know. The diaper is dry as is the floor and Chip. Right now he has no diaper on and I am pondering this problem for a solution.

The best way to sum this up is like when a bad guy asks Raylan on Justified about another bad guy his response is always the same. "And how did that go?"

Justified

I have a new television show I am crazy about. The name is Justified and it is on FX on Tuesdays nights. I love the acting, the actors, and the story. The script is based on a short story by Elmore Leonard. That makes it a reason to watch right off. The setting is Kentucky. So far there have been six episodes. I will be so sad when the season ends. You need to check it out. Remember I have impeccable taste and am always right about television.

Taking Drugs

I have been out of commission for awhile. I am taking a new medicine to combat my Sjogren's. The medicine is Plaquenil.It is mainly used to treat malaria although it is found to help rheumatoid arthritis and lupus. There are abundant side effects. Some that go away and some that require stopping the medication. Lots are the usual you hear on the commercials. But some sound pretty exciting and unique. Like change in the color of your skin, hair loss, mental or mood changes , and peeling skin. The most intriguing is bizarre behavior. I don't know how you diagnose that one. What seems bizarre to me may not be to you. I have just told the husband to let me know if I am acting bizarre. But if I am acting bizarre and he tells me will I do anything about it? Do you see what I am saying? But luckily I have only been dizzy and nauseated. I drove one day and got so dizzy I had visions of me being on the 6:00 news in the middle of Harris Teeter sitting in my van. I stopped driving until the dizziness was under control.The one thing I am so pissed about is the drug causes weight loss. Have I even lost a pound? No! But that maybe because I have been eating strawberry shortcake to treat my nausea.

Working on the New Vow.

Today is 90 degrees. All my errands and dog park activities have to be early. I am racing around like a mad women to get out of the house. As I head to the garage I remember my vow I took in Wal-Mart to never end up on the Wal-Mart people postings. The last thing I want to do is trudge upstairs and slap on make-up. My huge brain goes into action. I grab a ball cap covering up my wild hair and icky face. I am so smart.

Another Heads Up

I read this about a week ago and kept forgetting to send out the heads up. The feds are on Facebook and MySpace,LinkedIn and Twitter, too. They are assuming fake identities and friending people. They have arrested some people just by intensive facebook searching. Last year some teachers here in Charlotte lost their jobs for having inappropriate postings and pictures on Facebook. Several complained about their jobs and the children. So my advice to everyone on the internet " The world and the FBI are watching. Think about what you say about your job, life , and fellow man". Come to think of it my blog is pretty open. The FBI could be watching my blog. That might get me blog of note for being the first FBI monitored blog. I still only have 16 followers so I need that extra push. I guess I better remove the sentence about killing the old man.