Black Friday

Black Friday was a shocker for me. I actually went to the mall with my husband and two sons. The reason for the visit was my sons wanted to clothes shop! The crowds weren't bad and we got free valet parking because my husband drives a Lexus. While in Macy's shopping for the second son, the first son came by to deliver a silent but deadly bomb. I didn't know until the second son commented and then the odor hit. We quickly decided we didn't like the clothes in that area and left. I saw the first son in a far away aisle smiling. Once we regrouped we discussed finding the husband/father. I had just finished a large diet coke and felt a burb. I gave my boys my best manly burb. I felt it was weak but they moved to another area. I followed. I started telling the first son how disgusting it was for him to unload his bomb on us. He interrupted to tell me there were no filters in my life. I did not know what to say in polite society like talking about sex changes. Which I have most certainly not been talking about recently. By now we all realize that the father/husband is still missing. The first son goes barreling off to find him. After he leaves, the second son says " If you didn't drink soft drinks you wouldn't be so gassy". Me gassy? All I did was burb. The second son said that was being gassy. The first son comes back to report no father/husband. After more trips around the men's department we headed to Nordstrom's. After all we said we were going there next. The whole way the first son argues about where the father/husband is. We arrive in the men's department at Nordstrom's to find the father/husband. He says he has been looking for us. I give both sons the look and head over to the women's shoes. We all got some good deals and came home happy and maybe closer. Who knows?

A Winter Wonder Land In Charlotte

Yes my friends, you heard it right. You may frolic in the snow in Charlotte. Also enjoy sledding,tubing,and snowboarding. This fun winter land event only costs $35.00 for two hours. Plus after the two hours are over you can walk to SouthPark mall and shop or do whatever people do at malls. Yes my friends the mall, because the winter wonder land is at Symphony Park, in the back corner of SouthPark. A group of local investors will spend 1.8 million dollars building SnowPark USA in early December. We are told it will be a very snowlike experience, not like tubing on ice cubes. This is a direct copy of Snow Mountain in Atlanta that was hugely popular. If Charlotte embraces this winter frolic, the investors intend to open two more in other Southeast cities. Now I don't want to call these investors idiots. I think the idiots started it in Atlanta. The investors did throw out that word "staycationers". You know the unemployed, or broke, or struggling. If they don't have $35.00 per child to participate then they can park and look at the stuff. Whats funny all the "staycationers" in the snowy climate would like to enjoy some warm sunny weather. Unfortunately even investors with more money than sense can't make a warm weather park.

This Day In History

In 1973 President Nixon told an Associated Press managing editors meeting in Orlando, Fla.: "People have got to know whether or not their president is a crook. Well, I am not a crook". What more can I add?

Two Commercials

After more than six weeks of nonstop television viewing I feel totally qualified to critique commercials. There are two right now that send me up the wall!!!!!! I told this to the husband who has not seen either of these commercials a thousand times. He had the nerve to say that I complain about everything. Also some mess about not liking anything. Well little does he know that if one of those commercials come on with him by my side he might become strangled!!!! Let us discuss these two commercials. The first is the Dodge Ram. Yes the pictures of Mohammad Ali and everybody else are nice. But how in the world are they related to a truck? And the man's voice is beyond irritating like he is reading poetry about a truck. Please I wasn't born yesterday. This commercial is not going to make me want a Dodge Ram. Instead I want to choke the voice that keeps saying "I am Ram". The next commercial is the Walmart one. You know the one that lasts as long as an infomercial. The one with the cutesy blonde that is selling small appliances. You know at the end of the commercial she goes home with a customer to help with her party. Please do you believe that? Have you ever seen an employee leave with a customer? Buy a vacuum cleaner and have an employee go home with you and vacuum your house.I don't think so. After viewing this particular commercial two billion times I knew Walmart had crockpots. The husband said we needed one. I said go to Walmart. He did and there were not any there. So why I am having to change the channel twenty times a day to avoid the Walmart crockpot/blender/ electric fry pan commercial? I feel so much better after sharing this.

Patsy, George, Tammy and Me

Yesterday was the end of my six weeks restrictions from my surgery. To celebrate I cranked up the music. All three dogs were dancing around me as Patsy and I belted out "Walking After Midnight". Using the television remote as a microphone I hit some high notes. Then George and I sang " He Stopped Loving Her Today". I put some real emotion in my voice for that song. Then Tammy and I sang our heart out with " Stand By Your Man". We were awesome. By then I noticed the dogs weren't dancing any more. Chip was hiding in the laundry basket. Zeus was by the back door. Shelley was pacing between them. I guess they just don't appreciate good country music. Did you know Tammy and George had one daughter. They named that child Tamala Georgette. That is so wrong on so many levels. She goes by Georgette. How in the poopy do you pronounce Tamala ?

A Man and a Horse

I read this article several days ago but it just stayed in my mind. A man has been sentenced to three years in prison for having sex with a horse. This happened in Conway, S.C. The judge ordered the man to stay away from the stables where the horse is and to get counseling. The owner of the horse caught the man having sex with her horse and held him at shotgun point until the police arrived. The owner knew the offender. He had sex with the same horse last year. He was placed on probation and registered as a sex offender. I have lots of questions about this. How tall is the man? How tall is the horse? Does the stables have step stools or ladders? Is the man in love with the horse? Does the horse love him? As a registered sex offender does this man list he loves horses? I guess these questions will go unanswered. I have reassured Shelley that I will be on alert anytime she is outside. Shelley is the size of a female Great Dane. The offender may have to go after large dogs after he is released. After all he is barred from the stables and his horse. I guess I am going have to get me a shotgun.

Old Shoes

This past Friday I celebrated twenty seven years of marriage. I was twenty six when I married so I have been married over half my life. I don't profess to be an expert on marriage. I compare marriage to a pair of leather shoes. The day you buy the shoes they are tight and confine your feet. Everyone says you need to break them in. So you try lots of things to soften the leather. Each day the shoes feel better on your feet. But there are days when the shoes give you blisters and pain. You feel like these shoes will never fit your feet right. But you keep wearing them for various reasons. Years pass. The heels of the shoes get run down. The leather is scuffed and scratched. You see prettier and newer shoes but you have had these shoes forever. So you just keep wearing the shoes because now they fit just right.

Being Frugal

I am getting a good laugh from all the tips on being frugal. With the economy in the dumps the papers, magazines, and television all have these tips. What I am laughing about is that I have always done that. Only have basic cable is a biggie. We have always had basic cable. Use coupons and purchase sale items. Back in the day I had a store coupon folder that I carried religiously to the grocery store. Staycations is a great new word. But we did staycations for years not knowing we were cool. I patched hand me down jeans for the children. I made their Halloween costumes. I washed and reused ziplock bags. I made baby wipes out of paper towels. I rented movies from the library for the children. Books were read from the library and still are. I baked bread, muffins, and cookies. I made jams. We picked strawberries,apples and peaches. I went to the farmer's market every Saturday morning. I saved everything paper wise for crafts including meat trays to use as paint trays. I even made play dough. My point is I thought everyone lived like that. For years I didn't realize that people had parents who bought appliances, cars and down payments on houses. We did everything ourselves. I just keep waiting for some eye opening frugal tip that I haven't heard. When I do I will blog about it so we all will be frugal.

Facebook

I joined Facebook about a month ago. I am still learning the ropes. I don't understand all the Farmville stuff. I can't post pictures because I still don't know how. But I have searched for people I am glad I found. I am happy to get back with people I don't get to see. One son won't friend me and the other only allows me to view certain things. That is fine. A mother is better off in the dark about most of her son's activities. The problem with Facebook is now I have to check my e -mail,check my facebook , check my raverly site, and post on my blog. After all that the day is half over. Then I have to take a nap, knit, watch television and go to bed. Then it starts all over again.

Blog of Note #2

I spoke to my son at Georgia Tech yesterday. He said if I wanted to be blog of note I had to quit blogging about my sex change surgery. That I have probably lost lots of my followers once they read I had a sex change surgery. I all so was informed by my son that I need to stop discussing my rectum, vagina or any thing located in those areas. From here on out I will refer to that area as the lower chassis. I did not have a sex change surgery, I had the lower chassis refurbished. Moving on, this Monday started off great. I woke to the sounds of Chip being sick and relieving himself from his lower chassis on my bedroom carpet. After cleaning that up and making too many trips upstairs, I am a hurting puppy. Some friends came over with lunch and a gift of yarn. That cheered me up. I just have to decide about Chip. How much longer can the dog live? He looks like death warmed over. He is bound and determined to stay alive until Zeus leaves. I feel bad for him right now but will be pissed again when I go to bed tonight in my bedroom.

Mike Sleasley

After all the bad mouthing I did over Mark Sanford, it isn't fair not to trash Mike Easley. Mike Easley is the former governor of North Carolina. Now granted a good sex scandal is so much more interesting,but dear old Mike has raised the bar in sleaziness. His campaign fund got him beach front property, home repairs, air transportation, his son a car,and his wife a job. Not bad considering the campaign money was to be used to get him elected. He did get elected but there must have been a big pot to get all that frosting on the cake. Now I like to relate as much as possible to sex. So I believe Mike Easley great love affair was power and special political favors. Like I said not as titillating as sex, but Mike committed criminal offenses. Sad to say the sexual dirty laundry of politicians gets aired all the time. Offenses like Mike Sleasley are all too common and boring so it gets swept under the carpet.