The Oscars

Just finished watching the Oscars. They aren't over but they just got too boring to watch any longer. I do have some opinions to post. Is Kathy Ireland pregnant or is just copying my bloated belly and IBS? Who did Sarah Jessica Parker's spray tan? She looked liked me at 16 with a bottle of QT. I loved Sandra Bullock's dress. She looked like an Oscar winner. Helen Mirren and Meryl Streep showed me that aging gracefully is beautiful. Zac Efron copied my hair style when I wake up in the morning. George, oh George, you need a haircut. You did not look your best for the Oscars. Even a gorgeous Italian eye candy could not make the hair look better. I know you are pining for me. I am your epitome of the perfect women but alas I remain married. I don't plan to knock off the husband any time soon George so get a haircut. Well I will read the results in the AM of the last few winners I missed. I am thinking of switching to Tom Sellack as my next husband after this one dies. His hair always looks good.