Fat , Frumpy Lady

I have studied and studied on what to do with this fat, frumpy lady on my backside. Even with chronic nausea, minimal food, and walks around the block ; she remains. All this studying about her has led me to believe she might be here forever. So this is my way to allow her in my life without shame or defeat. I am announcing I am a competitive eater. I plan to have shirts made that state "Competitive Eater In Training". No one will notice the fat, frumpy lady on my ass. They will see an athlete. Someone that might be in Coney Island the next fourth eating Nathan hotdogs. I can see it now - contests, interviews, People magazine, reality shows, and maybe "America's Got Talent". Then I will retire from the competitive eating circuit and a wealthy fan will pay for the surgical removal of the fat, frumpy lady. Gotta go get those T - shirts made.